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Ninja Assassin = Best Tekken Story Mode Ever + Fatalities

One hour and thirty-nine minutes of visual S&M sex between you and the screen…of gosh, I loved it!

So I saw Ninja Assassin today with the boyfriend…AND IT WAS AMAZING!

Hats off to James McTeigue, who directed this beaut of a film, to the Wachozki brothers to producing (I forgive you for the last two Matrix flicks) and to the kickass special effects team. This film is a real work of art. Great effects, choreography, plot…basically, it was a live action anime.

I won’t go into the plot for those who haven’t seen it yet. Either way, if you’ve seen one good anime, you know the plot: Boy is raised to be a killer. Boy falls in love. Boy’s love is killed by ally/brother. Boy goes rogue. Boy spends life trying to get back at people who harmed him. Boy meets new woman, whom he becomes attached to like a Border Collie. Boy works with girl to take down the people who harmed him. Simple, normal story…and that’s what’s so great about this movie. The plot is SO simple, it allows for so much beauty to be wrapped around it. Through flashbacks and fight screens, the director paints this gorgeous tapestry using blood as paint (if that’s possible).

The other thing that’s awesome about Ninja Assassins is that, for all the over-hyped up blood and ninja-isms going on, it’s still pretty realistic. The ninjas can actually be hurt by cars and bullets, and the hero, Reizo, isn’t indestructible. In fact, he gets pretty messed up before going Super Saiyan all over every body and causing crazy ruckus.

I also enjoyed the little anime undertones that are pretty common in more Japanese animation:

  • Family is forever.
  • Love is the most powerful emotion you can feel.
  • Don’t trust white people.

All in all, it was a great little movie. Period. Not much I can say, except that it rocks. So much that I need to see it again. And again. And then own it on Blue-Ray.



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November 2009
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