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Facebook as it relates to the social media douchebag…

If imitation is the highest form of flattery, then Twitter’s balls must be raw.

This week Facebook announced that you will now/soon be able to tag people in your statuses. You will also be able to direct your statuses at specific people. Sound familiar? Either way, this whole thing got me thinking…

I don’t think that online social networks understand the power that they have over the masses.

In the beginning there was Myspace, which made it ok to post half-naked pics of yourself online without getting paid for it, refer to yourself as “SexiiWetKitty” or “PussyLuvah” in public and boast about your love of weed/whoredom/guns and other unsavory activities. I’ll admit, I was an early fan of Myspace, before it was taken over by children and old people looking to get their grooves back. Myspace was supposed to be a place to express yourself online and connect with others. Now, it’s a breeding ground for peophiles, self-obsessed people and celebrities (aka self-obsessed people with validation).

Then there was Facebook. I don’t mean to sound elitist, but Facebook was a lot…”better” (for lack of a better word) when you had to have a college email address and be on the list of approved colleges and universities to use it. I enjoyed reconnecting with my middle and high school classmates who were actually doing something with their lives. I had Myspace to connect with my loser, drop out baby mama peoples. Now, though, Facebook is the new Myspace, plagued with the stupidity of Mafia Wars and the “What Sexual Position Is Your Soul Like” fuckery that drove me away from Myspace in the first place. Now, anyone can get on Facebook and fill my News Feed with insanity like “Just got done eating a cheeseburger. Oh, I feel so bloated!” status messages. But wait, I’m getting sidetracked.

Facebook started out as a place for professionals and college students to link up and connect. Then, due to pressure to not seem elitist, they opened the doors to everyone. Bogus. Everything isn’t for everyone. There are certain things that you really just can’t sit on your ass and still be allowed access to. But there I go getting sidetracked again.

So back to the whole status message thing. Twitter is a microblogging tool. It’s purpose is to give you 140 characters to share some piece of information, whether it be a cool link, event or the fact that you like tacos. That is not what Facebook is. The idea of statuses on Facebook only became more pertinent when Twitter took off. First, Faceoook copied their idea of the Friend Feed in their new redesign, and now they’re copying the idea of @-ing people in a status message. Where will it end?

Facebook isn’t for statuses. Facebook is supposed to be about connecting people with other people. I don’t think that Facebook understands that, with every redesign, they are contributing to the idea of self- and mutual online masturbation that is taking place online. I have friends on Facebook who update their statuses at least five times a day. FIVE freaking times a day. Really, is it necessary? And if it was, why not just get a Twitter account? (Answer from the ignorant masses: Because we don’t get it. Twitter is dumb.) Yeah whatever…

I’m going to post this on my Facebook page. While most of my Facebook friends probably won’t read it, I wonder how many will actually be affected by my words and stop before they enter the real of social media douchebaggery. Or…how how many will unfriend me (which would help, because currently, I’m blocking like 7 people on my feed due to their oversharing. Are you one of those people? Hmmm…)

I guess that the issue is that there is a time and a place for everything. In the same way that I can’t walk into a Dunkin Donuts and order a grande-soy-decaf-caramel-iced-coffee, you shouldn’t join a social network who’s goal is connecting young professionals and students and talk about your weed expertise and how your sexual position is reverse-cowgirl. It’s just not right.



One thought on “Facebook as it relates to the social media douchebag…

  1. this blog is funny and true on soo many levels…but i have to dissagree with one small thing…i am not a college student and i have never been quilty of over feeding the feed…it annoys me as well when a person post every damn aspect of their lives on here…like why would you be posting if you are at a bar enjoying drinks with your girls?and who cares that your soul mates name will begin with a j…Im just saying…good topic

    Posted by kenya rogers | September 11, 2009, 5:58 am

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