“Chick Beer” – I don’t want to drink on this planet anymore

In the words of @craftbeercellar, “#nothelping”.

Christians and women have the worst marketing ideas, I swear. This one really takes the cake in foolish, off-target strategy. ::shaking head::

Chick Beer is, obviously, a beer for chicks. But…why do we need it? And why would any respectful beer shop sell it? The hot pink and glitter-gasm that is their website states that Chick Beer is for ladies because:

• “Chick won’t weigh you down.  It has just 97 calories and 3.5 carbs per bottle!
• Chick’s flavor is more soft and smooth, and less bitter.
• Chick is lightly carbonated, for less of that bloaty feeling.”

As soon as you use the word “bloaty”, I’m done. That’s a tampon word, and should never be used to describe anything fun.

This abomination of glam goes on:

Chick Beer finally gives women a beer choice that suits their tastes and their style. The bottle is designed to reflect the beautiful shape of a woman in a little black dress.  The six-pack looks like you are carrying your beer in a hip stylish, purse.  Chick’s unique reflective bottle blings you up!  It’s fun, fabulous, and female!

Really? A bottle shaped like a chicks’ body? Way to empower the big girls, right? And the six pack container looks like  purse? Great, except the women who are dense and vapid enough to buy this beer don’t carry their own beer for fear that they’ll chip their polish, so you’ve made a purse shaped beer container for some college frat boy to have to carry. ::thumbs up:: And, no thanks. I don’t want bedazzled beer. Weirdos…

My favorite tidbit of info that shows that no real research could have gone into this project was on their “The Chick Story” page:

The taste leans toward the smoothness of malt over the dry bitterness of hops.  It’s the taste that women prefer.  You’re going to love it.

These ladies must not have met some of my beer drinking gal pals. @LHRodriguez loves hoppy beers and calls my preference for Belgians and Hefeweizens “weak”. On St. Patty’s day, my girls are drinking Guinness. We’re “beer snobs”, looking for new flavors, new craft breweries, and showing boys that we can drink (and outdrink) the best of them. So I’m guessing that Chick Beer is for….who?

Maybe it’s for ladies who show up at bars in little dresses and stilettos and sip on Bud Light Lime all night. Or maybe the chicks that I see at the market on Saturdays filling their carts with Moscato in plastic mini bottles. The kind of chicks who enjoyed “The Notebook” and only drink beer because the bartender can’t make a good Fuzzy Navel. As the Chick Beer website states, “Since when is Chick a bad thing?” (Answer: never, but these ladies can’t be serious.)

Me and my gal pals, I think we’ll stick with Pretty Things instead. “Stay pretty and drink real beer.”